her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
