Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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