Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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