after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
