i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
