I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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