so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
