the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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