My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My legs feel like baby dolphins
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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