Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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