i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
