I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
