i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize