Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
