you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
