remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
