needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
