Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
