You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think my moral compass just broke
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize