but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
