Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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