He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
