I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
