Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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