Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He passed out mid-signature
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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