you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
