how can u be prego again
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
NoShamevember. You game?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
