Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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