we're blogging at a bar
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
porn star boner night. come get it.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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