I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
