On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
