Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
