Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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