I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
