dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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