We won't sleep together?
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
