I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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