Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
