if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize