watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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