So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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