can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
