The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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