the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
