even my farts smell like vagina
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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