what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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