But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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