Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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