i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize