he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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