Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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