you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
