he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
