i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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