u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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