Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
