does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
