i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
