Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
