I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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