so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
