Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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